do I tell other kids in my child's class about their "special need" or not?

[handmade]

I am wondering...some of the other kids in my children's classrooms are asking "why does he DO that?!?!" and ,"Why is he always tapping (making funny noises, not answering my questions, etc.), and I'm wondering if I should talk to the class about their (I have two with autism) autism. On one hand, they are finding out my children react differently, and they are finding ways to cope. I hope there will be little teasing. ON the other hand, am I revealing too much, which could also lead to teasing, and "shunning?" anyone had to wrestle with this problem yet?

[Dave]

I would probably discuss this with the teacher in the class. Kids will be kids and today lots of them are just mean. At least that is where I would start.

[Tashia]

We tried to keep my son included in a regular classroom from kindergarten on and have pullouts for special services. There is no doubt that the neurologically typical children will immediately be able to tell that your child is "different" or "special". We found that over time children become very accepting and even protective of their new classmate with special needs, but it did help a LOT to go in and speak to the class briefly and explain simply and on a level that they could understand why he did these things, how he was different and how he was the same as all of them in many ways. Before long Chris had more "help" than he knew what to do with!

If he stays in the same school year after year, the children will know him and accept him and clue others in so that you don't have to go every year and repeat the same routine. It helps them to know that he's not dangerous, he needs friends just as much as they do, has a different way of seeing the world than they do, may have problems with hearing loud sounds, bright lights, etc., that some of his stims help him feel better, that you can't catch autism, etc.

Inevitably, there would end up being one little girl in class who would step forward and declare herself Chris's surrogate mother at school -- and God help anyone who picked on him! She was pretty good at keeping him straight too and he didn't give her a hard time like he might do a teacher or aide.

I would definitely encourage you to go and talk to them, but be prepared to answer a lot of questions.

[CeleRate]

Susan,

Depending on the age of the children, having a discussion about your child can be extremely beneficial. Kids are not dumb. They know that something is different, but they probably don't know what that difference is all about. Acknowlegding the differences can assuage the anxiety that some children may have about the strange noises and movements that they hear and see. Pointing out the similarities (e.g., liking movies, liking swimming, liking to be with one's family, etc.), and pointing out strengths (e.g., reading, balance, memory, etc.) can help to minimize perceptions of disability, or not having the ability to be a friend to someone. It is the teacher's responsibility to build community in the classroom. Using language that is inclusive of all learners, regardless of ability, and providing feedback and correction to other students in the class will help to set an inclusive tone that the students will respond to. My experiences with Kindergarten through 4th grade have been positive with respect to sharing information with students.

-CeleRate
Celeration= change in behavior over time

[handmade]

Thanks for your help. The boys have been pretty accepted, because of their strengths. However, one little boy wouldn't invite Daniel to his birthday party, and he told another boy it was because Daniel was a "retard". yet, this same boy plays football at recess everyday with Daniel and wants him to stay after school to play football on the playground. I've been handling this individually with kids, but will consider talking with the class. Thanks again for your ideas.:)