What is wrong with my son?

[uscheadles]

My 6yo was dx a month ago with high functioning autism. (This dx was NO suprise. We are in the process of finding a parenting group in our area).
My question is about my 4yo (will be 5 on Aug 16) He is SUPER friendly (read:too friendly), he is smart, his memory is great. My problem is that he LOOKS like he is mentally retarded. He gazes off like he is autistic-something my HFA son does-but on occasion only-he also has the same temper as my HFA. He askes for something and panics if he is not answered IMMEDIETLY. He cannot sit down and write a sentence, but he can watch his favorite movie over and over and even quotes his movies. He laughs when no one else is laughing. He FREAKS OUT if there is any loud noises (ie:fireworks and flushing toilets). He is scared of balloons. He plays with other kids but he is overwhelming. He does not give anyone their space. He will climb in a stranger's lap or ask to be picked up by people we do not know.
I worry because he almost seems like he has HFA also-but is approching the symptoms at a complete opposite angle of the 6yo.
He is TOO OLD, as far as I understand, to be doing some of the things he does. He also has a security pillow that he uses all day everyday.
Should I worry or am I jumping the gun because of the recent dx of my older child?
Help-I don't want to overlook him or look into him too deeply.
Thank you for ANY help!

[Lisa S]

Hi Uscheadles,
I don't want to tell you to worry, but I don't think you would be jumping the gun to have your four year old son evaluated to see if he is on the autistic spectrum. Not everybody with autism is socially withdrawn. When you describe your son, some things you say sound just like my daughter, who is autistic. She sometimes has trouble invading the personal space of other people. She wants a large bubble of personal space for herself, she panics if others invade it, but sometimes she will go right up to almost complete strangers and hug them and refuse to let them go. She also has the sensory sensivities you described and the unusual fears. She watches movies over and over and quotes phrases from them, over and over. She has meltdowns for all sorts of overloads. Sometimes we can figure out what caused the meltdown, but not always.
Lisa

[Deester]

Uscheadles,

The thing that sticks out in my mind is the 'look or gaze' that you said he has. Has this been mentioned to the doctor?

Could it be a lazy eye or a vision depth problem. Has any eye issues been looked into at all?

My daughter who is on the spectrum does a sideways look and also when you are talking to her she will look away so she can 'hear' you as she can't process hearing and vision at the same time.

Just thought I'd mention it.

Denise

[mlwear]

I would seek out an evaluation. Many think that autistic kids don't want to be near other people and are anti-social. Not always the case. My son LOVES people. He just doesn't socialize properly. He is always in someone's face. Touches people (sometimes inappropriately) but doesn't realize he shouldn't. He always greets everyone. He was given the "Most Friendly" award in Kindergarten. We have had many serious situations with him approaching strangers.
It won't hurt to get an eval. if he isn't on the spectrum, then you have ruled it out. If he is, then you can start therapies and interventions.
Deester brings up a good point about vision. Has he had his eyesight tested? You never know. However, my son does that sideways look at times, as well.
Good luck.

[uscheadles]

His vision is fine. He has had it tested at the pediatrician's office. We were also concerned about his hearing and he did have to have tubes placed, which increased his hearing but did not cut down on his loud talking. Now we know he can hear, but he seems to just talk REALLY LOUD. His laughing has changed too. It's hard to explain, but he laughs sometimes I think just to hear himself. These are all things that I wouldn't worry about with my 16m/o, babies do things like that to hear themselves, but he is almost 5. He was "kicked out" of preschool. Everyday when I picked him up they had a grocery list of things he was doing wrong. He talks too much, he pushes and shoves (this was actually just too hands-on). He would cut in line. He just DID NOT GET the "rules". This screams out to me that their is something wrong. I just hope we can find out what it is.
Thank you, everyone for your responses. I just needed that extra push from someone who has "been there done that". I called our psych today and they are calling tomorrow for an intake phone call and after that we book an appointment and get the referral to the ASD clinic in our area (well, 60 miles away, but we'll take it).
Thank you again, everyone!

[mlwear]

You may want to go ahead and give your school district a call too. Just look in the gov't. pages and call the central office and ask to speak to someone in special education. (Other ways to go about this, but this is an easy one.) Tell him/her that you would like to determine if your child is in preschool, that you suspect he is autistic and want to determine if he is eligible for services. They must help you and hold an initial meeting to determine if and what evals. are needed. Then they will determine eligibility...you have been through this with your other son.
I would go ahead and do this. Yes, it is summer, but they schedule and start the process even in the summer months. It can take a long time to get through all the red tape. I wouldn't wait for the private eval. results. I would get a private eval, don't get me wrong. I would do them together, so you can start services if needed ASAP.

[sabrina dreams]

i would to say the same here. my daughter who has pddnos does those thing .not all but some . don't worry ok you understand us some with your older child so keep going ok. nicole

[mom2Zack]

I have a son who is mildy autistic and I also have a 6 year old daughter. Sometimes I too wonder if she is autistic. She has sensory issues and also has to have an answer for everything right away or she freaks out. But she is learning fine and did excellent in Kindergarten and has no social problems. It kinda weird because my son does not have any sensory issues at all and is more easy going than she is!
As far as the signs you gave about hated balloons and that distant look...that is exactly how I see me husbands cousin (girl) who is autistic. She HATES balloons, loud noises, is nervous all the time...she has a behavior specialist that she sees. We also see him for our son. Maybe you should see one?