While I was away...

[DavidSDCA]

Hey all,
I am David's Daddy and I just got home from a six-month cruise to the Gulf to find that my son David has lost all of his words. He is 22 months old and is our third child. The older children (3 and 5) are not symptomatic like David. We are currently on leave and need to get started. At first I thought that David was just shy to have me around, then I realized (day two of being home) at the airport and on a SWA flight that the eeee sounds and non-verbal behavior meant something was wrong. He used to point at all airplanes and say "Daddy" and "airplane". He had a vocab of 15-20 words at 16 mos, now at 22 mos....zero. Now he rarely says his only syllable (Bah). He tries to communicate with gestures/hand holding. He has lost ability to wave or say yes/no. He plays and giggles and shows lots of love for all of us. He also shows a strong drive to develop. He is very smart and adorable.
My wife had asked our doc in San Diego in June about the regression but he brushed it off.
Now I have a decision to make (4 days after returning home). My doc won't give me a referral to get a diagnosis until we return on 23AUG. The only way to get a referral here in STL (according to TRICARE) is for me to go to the ER (which my dr. uncle said would be not well received). Questions:

1. Will waiting two weeks to get a referral matter?
2. Is SDCA support as good as STL?
3. Are waiting lists long / rediculously long in SDCA?
4. Anyone familiar with Balboa / military / TRICARE issues in SDCA?
5. Anyone familiar with STLMO state programs/ private programs?
6. Does the SDRC act quickly getting help (pre-3 programs)?

I am more familiar with STL than SDCA, so I feel more comfortable here in STL. Then again my oldest starts Kindergarten on AUG 29....which throws in a twist. My Navy Pilot career is another issue....DOD moves us every 2 years. Wait lists sound like hell. Moving will hurt wait lists. My thoughts are that going geo-bachelor and parking my family with my parents in STL may help with David's Early Intervention programs / waiting lists / continuity. But it will hurt his development & my wife's sanity without me there by their side. Moving sucks in the military....I have 7 more years until retirement and 3 more moves beginning next fall (not including my separation move).
Any advice on this dilemma? Thanks for the help. Please post or email me directly. Signed, David's Daddy

[Dakota Joan]

I doubt the two weeks will matter. as for your wife's sanity and the sake of your marriage (which is the rock your son will need, not to mention the other child) you should keep your wife with you. Family First!

Thanks for serving!

[DavidSDCA]

Dakota Joan,
Thanks! The more people I speak to, the more I realize that "followup" by family seems to be a major part of therapy. At first I thought that placing him in an environment to maximize therapy hours would be best. Still learning. David has shown a lot of improvement since I have been home ( 6 days ). I think my family will definitely need me around as much as possible. Thanks again.
David's Daddy

[Dakota Joan]

There ya go! that parental involvement is key - and you can't replace a father. Glad for you and your family. :)

[mylittleone]

hi,

my niece was diagnosed with autism about 18 days ago. she turned 3 yrs old yesterday. she started part-time intervention yesterday. We have an IEP meeting tomorrow.

she had all the signs of autism wayyyy before then and the doctors just did not care or just brushed it off as nothing.

I think in an infants life, the 2 weeks is too long.
I would receommend getting a second opinion from another doctor. yes it will cost but I think the sooner the intervention starts the better.

it will take you another 2 weeks to get some to start the intervention. thats a month gone...

please do not waste these 2 weeks.
I know I would not.
Varun

[autti34]

there a lady on my block who i try to tell her almost 2 years ago .that her son had autism she was in denial and had 2 dr who were idiots telling her there nothing wrong with him .filnny at age 4 the school gave her the dx she is excepting it now but he lost so much time
i cant belive that stuff still hapens
i new cuse he dose alot of hand flaping and making these voical noise that non verble kids make
i have autism at 6 month the dr told my parents something was wrong develomplty that was in the 60s they no so much more now .pluse if your kid isnt saying anything by age 3 that a big read flag .threre is a wide range of normal to but you know what i mean :p

[cymomtx]

Don't wait for the dr's is you feel there is an issue. Call your local school district special education department and ask them who to contact for an early childhood intervention program through the state. Every state must provide this type of program through age 3 then at 3 the school districts provide the care.

[themary]

How hard this all must be. My daughter is almost 4 w/HFA. She is verbal now. But I have spent a year and half helping her by using sign language (recommend signingtime videos) and parallel talking (side by side w/her as she lined up her toys I'd say "they are standing" or "in a parade") And label, label, label. I walked w/her in the park I would say as we stepped onto the grass "grass" "grass". I read to her a short picture book every single morning for months until I burnt out.
THat is when she began the special preschool program where we live. Sadly, this program isn't the best but it helped.
I am sorry I am not able to give better advise to your speicific situation. I do know that having a child w/autism is like having a tornado hit and not being prepared. The chaos left in its wake is the world of autism. Learning how to put your house back together is a challange we all have to face. I often say even though its been a little over a year since her dx that it isn't easier, just better managed.
Mary

[DavidSDCA]

Thanks to all for the help. My insurance (military tricare) was not helping me since I was on leave, so I forked out $250 at a local neurologist in STL, MO and he diagnosed my child with PDD-NOS today. Doctor said that he could tell from David's noises and actions and didn't even need my questionaire / comments about behavior. From the moment we walked in the doctor's office, David checked out the water faucet and doorknob over 50 times and only played with the toys when we handed them to him. He did not approach the toy chest to check it out.... Guess the doc says that is typical.

The doc will mail me the diagnosis summary report in 10 days to my San Diego address. He will recommend 12-20 hours per week of combo ABA, speech, etc.

I have an appt at Balboa USN Hospital with the Exceptional Family Member Program coordiantor. I have spoken with the SDRC also. I should be back to SDCA next week (22aug). Anything else that I need to do there?

Thanks to all for the help.

David's Daddy