signing with 3 1/2 yr old

[JaimeP]

Hi, I'm new to the board and I have a son who is 3 1/2 and nonverbal. He's had speech therapy since 18 months and still cannot imitate sounds even when he is in the mood to try.

His therapists are pushing for him to start using a picture machine that talks for him, because cognitively-he is very aware and really wants to talk quite badly. he is the most "talkative" child who can't speak-he is constantly trying to show things to me and is quite loud most of the day with his various " ahhh" sounds. You can tell that he really wants to carry on a conversation and is just getting frustrated.

He has learned some signs through me, a total of about 12, but they sometimes confuse him. I would really like to push signing a bit more so that I can eventually hold a full conversation with him, which I don't believe I'll ever be able to do through pictures, but don't have any support for this. The teachers, therapists, and my relatives don't think he should learn sign. (I really think the signs help him "remember" the words-and eventually he may speak with the help of the signs prompting him)

He's so darn proud of himself when he wakes up in the morning, is still in his crib, he signs "eggs", and I immediately know what he wants for breakfast...

does anybody have any thoughts on this?

in this case would you push the signing as well or resort to pictures?

-JaimeP

[StrictNon-Confo]

His teachers, relatives and therapists are thinking that it's purely a control thing, and as soon as it is made clear to him he must learn how to speak orally in order to communicate, it will simply happen. Well, what do they know? I'm guessing: not much!

No doubt, the method he would prefer would be the more efficient time-wise verbal method, and others around him would prefer that, too. However, from the sounds of it (ahhhh) it sounds like he is making his best efforts, and his body simply won't coordinate with his wishes. Here's something that his teachers, relatives and therapists should keep in mind: if he's having this much difficulty just making simple sounds now, chances are he will always have difficulty making his mouth hook up correctly with what he wants to do, and it will never be that great, regardless of how much effort he puts into it, and regardless of how much time is spent in therapy. Not only that, but when push comes to shove, nature prioritizes what functionality is supported when resources are limited: speech doesn't rank very high on that short list of vital functions.

You see, when overload occurs, it will often blow away the bits of functionality that are already resource hogs, such that they are shunted off into uselessness. When exposed to extreme cold for too long, the body does its best to keep the vital organs warm and functioning, with the possibility that non-vital extremities are sacrificed. So, too, if a low-level instinctual response is involved, things that rely on anything more than instinct go out the window, and frankly, verbal speech isn't that vital, but perhaps hand signals or merely alarmed noises are more than sufficient. Ever get tongue-tied when nervous, or excited? Imagine being in that state almost constantly, to one degree or another, and often more severe: that's living in overload. Overload can come from internal or external sources and causes: strong emotion can drive one into overload as effectively as too much sensory input that can't be processed effectively and/or ignored, which is rather annoying when there's no off switch. A very efficient way to go into overload is...frustration from not being able to communicate, which then becomes the paradox of not being able to communicate because you're in overload, and being in overload because you can't communicate: this is a deadlock that isn't easily wished away.


Thus, my advice (from the perspective of being an adult Aspie that went through several years of speech therapy, but was always quite verbal, and whom has speech degradation when entering or in overload) is he will do what he can to master speech, but it is vital for him to always have a backup manner of communicating, which would be pictures and/or (more portably and understood: my internal graphical representation seems to be different than many others) sign language. It's just a pity that not everyone will be able to sign back.

Oh, another thing: if he has trouble with auditory processing, he may never quite be able to process speech sounds and make proper sense of them when he's not in overload, and when in overload, that, too, is not likely to get priority: all that matters in emergency situations (at an instinctual level) is whether something is loud enough to be dangerous or otherwise provides a real threat. How you can decipher whether or not someone that can't communicate clearly to the outside world can't interpret what they're hearing is being processed correctly is another one of those curious paradoxes. I hate it when I hear something (I have very sensitive hearing) but at that time, I just can't decipher what I heard. When a deaf person speaks, even if they're great at reading lips and making their mouths look like everyone else's, the sounds they make rarely sound as you'd expect them to. I'm curious what the speech therapist would say to this whole post :)

[Lisa S]

Jaime,
Why can't you do both? Couldn't your son use the pictures as well as the signs he knows?

My daughter Catherine talked much the same way as your son when she was three. Her speech was mostly vowel sounds. She is nine now and most people still have some trouble understanding her speech. She was five before people at school who were good at understanding children could understand some of her speech. Before then, I was the only one who could understand her most of the time and I couldn't do it all the time, even though she and I tried very hard to communicate. She would become so frustrated if I didn't understand her. If I had trouble, we used signs, pictures or "Can you show Mommy?" anything to help me understand what she needed. One of her favorite things was to lead me to what she wanted, but I taught her a few signs as well. When she started preschool (1/2 special needs, 1/2 typical) they used PECS and simple sign language with her as well as encouraging her to speak by offering her limited choices. For example, at snack time, they would say "I have fruit," and "I have cookies," and "I have juice," to encourage her and the other children to ask for what they wanted. I believe they called my daughter's difficulty speaking apraxia. Her body just wouldn't cooperate with her when she tried to speak, I think. The therapists and I did lots of oral-motor work with her. I'm sure you understand exactly what I am talking about. My brother had a lot of trouble being understood when he was young also. He had speech therapy and everyone can understand him fine when he talks now, although he is kind of a quiet person. His son, my nephew, had speech therapy for several years and he can be understood too, but he is not quiet at all. So I think my daughter and your son will be understood most of the time when they talk one day too, although as Strict said, sometimes words will fail them if they are overloaded.

I know you are working hard to understand your son and he is working hard to be understood, so maybe this picture board that talks can be just another new tool in helping him learn to communicate. I don't think you should throw away the old tools unless you think they are no longer working. That's my opinion.
Lisa

[JaimeP]

thanks to you both for replying... I read through your posts and I will do what I can with the pictures, although most of his thought processes at this age- I believe, he's trying to tell me how funny he thought something was, or, "hey, when are we going to the beach again, that was fun!"..... that's kind of the feeling I'm getting from him through his "aaaahhhs" (that is the only sound he makes aside from the spontaneous and rare "word bursts" as I call them-(he seems to be able to say a word every so often when he's not thinking about saying it)), so I don't know how much the pictures can possibly help in that regard.... Figuring out his "wants" are relatively easy, like Lisa said-I do a lot of "show mommy what you want" when he doesn't know the sign. (He has been diagnosed as severely Apraxic as well...)

(My father-in-law definitely thinks it's the "control-thing" as mentioned in the first reply..... He insists that with even more stringent speech therapy, that he eventually will be "forced" to speak.. (poor kid).... not to mention that he has been in consistent speech therapy since 18 months old... for many strenuous hours every week.-It's just not happening)

It's the conversations that I feel I'm missing out on. I have a baby girl, and feel that if I can teach her to sign as well, then they can both have an effective means of, at least, communicating to each other, myself, and my husband.

More suggestions are welcome!!
Thanks!

-JaimeP

[ACHELLEI]

I have a 2 1/2 year old who I have taught to sign-at first just so I could stop having her scream at me. Then her therapists encocuraged me to continue and were even using signs (as well as the spoken word) during therapy. Now she know almost 20 signs-and life is soooo much easier! We have also found-in most cases-that when we teach her the sign she starts trying to say the work in a couple of weeks. Some words are really clear-and some aren't. But she is trying and that is a start. She is always "talking" and saying things and having full conversations. She just isn't talking in any language that I can understand. But the signing is such a big help-go for it!