Friends in School

[Lonestarmomof2]

Our son who is in the 9th grade this year is involved in the marching band, and is in other extracurricular activities at school, however, he does not, and never really has had a good friend, let alone a group of friends to hang around with. Even though it saddens me every time I see kids, especially at this age having many friends, he doesn't seem to care. He enjoys working/playing on his computer. I always thought that even if he weren't a HFA, he would still be a homebody....my husband is the same way, in terms of being the type of guy who enjoys just being at home.
I am totally aware that social interaction, or the lack there of, and the "social" cues go hand in hand with autism, regardless of the severity,but even now it hurts to observe this on a daily basis.
Even though he is an excellent student and is like any other kid for the most part, this social arena is such an important part of one's development.
I know that nothing is 100%, and there are kids out there who are loners and do not have an abundance of friends, but, I still dwell on it.

Debbie

[Greg]

Hi Debbie, I myself was, and still am a loner. Now I did have others who I talked to at school (friends? Not really) and I had a good friend in the second grade. I was doing just fine living on my own, without any friends. It didn't bother me. Then, one day a co-worker encourages me to go to her wedding (read about that in "Comments/Suggestions- "My Breakthrough) where I have the time of my life at the reception, so she becomes a beloved friend of mine. Just you wait, maybe somebody will come along for your son. Greg.

[Lonestarmomof2]

Greg,
Thank you for posting me a reply!
Our son's name is Greg! Actually, it is Gregory, but he prefers Greg now that he is older.
I enjoyed reading your posts; My breakthrough and feelings for parents. I'm so happy that your friend encourged you to attend the wedding. We all need a little push from time to time. There was a time when our son refrained from doing anything, and now he wants to be involved in academic competitions and other school functions. Being out there in the public gave him much confidence in how he conducts himself in every day living. Because his speech pattern has improved over the years, it is more fluid, when he communicates with his peers, but just the same like I had mentioned in my post, he does not have a regular buddy. School work is very important to him and he is an extremely determined young man! This seems to be his focus at the moment.

Without being too intrusive, may I ask if you attended public school and if you were main-streamed?
Since kindergarten, our son has been in public school and has always been main-streamed....it has worked out well for him.

Again, thank you for your kind words and take care!

Debbie

[Greg]

I attended public schools. What is main-streamed? I was in special education throughout my school years. I was never one to take part in extra curricular activities, I also was a home body. I always preferred being home to playing outside or doing other stuff with others. My writing (like I mentioned in my other posts) helps me a lot to express my feelings. If you would like to see some of my work, go to www.poetry.com, then search for Oosterhouse, Greg. I have two poems there. One dedicated to my friend, I wrote it for her birthday. And don't call me Gregory! That is not my name! Greg.

[Lonestarmomof2]

Greg,

You have quite a talent for writing...your poems are simply beautiful!

Main-streaming is when a student is placed in a traditional/regular classroom. The child could still receive some modifications (if needed) from the reg. teacher, or from the resource class. Our son went to resource class whenever he needed to.

Debbie

[Greg]

Thank you for the compliment! I looked up main streaming after I logged off yesterday. I was in some of the regular ed. classes. I did not know that I had autistic features until a few years ago. I understood myself better after I was told. I also have mild cerebral palsy, which in me is harder to tell thatI have than the autism part. It really only affects how I hold utensils, such as flatware, toothbrushes and yes, even pens, which I use to write with of course. Greg.

[mlwear]

Can you explain the mild CP a little more? My older son has been diagnosed with a variety of things,but as time goes on I think it is Aspergers (younger brother classic high to moderate autism). He has such difficulty writing and using utensils. Occupational Therapy at school won't help at all. Now he is trying to type most of his assignments. Even if you have a suggested link, it would be greatly appreciated.

[Greg]

The CP also affects my throat, I do not like certain textures (actually, autism plays a part in that to, I guess), some things are hard for me to chew. And I have a sensitive gag reflex. That is all I can tell you about MY CP. If you want to learn more, you can always use a search engine to find out whatever you want. A whole array of sites are likely to come up. I can use utensils easily, I just hold them differently. Yes, it is harder for me to use a butter knife, but I do just fine. And I use an electric toothbrush. Maybe your kid should use that. My dentist recommends it especially for me. Greg.

[mlwear]

Thanks, I'll have to do some research. As with autism, people outside that community often have little knowledge. I really hadn't thought of their being a wide range of severity of CP. Sadly, again like people outside the autism community.
Your insight is helpful.