Socially not there

[Nana]

:confused: Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do with the socializing. My DGD wants to have friends so bad. She just gets so over stimulated when she plays with the kids at school or here at home that she pushes everyone away. Her sister doesn't even want to play with her. Everything has to be her way or you are in for trouble. She will stare at her sister and continue even after being asked not to untill her sister sound ugly and then she will say what did I do? Or if her sister walks by her too close she will say ouch that hurt. Then let her sister get into trouble for hurting her. Each time something like this happens sh will let the other person get into trouble and she won't say a thing. I get so angry with her. Is this a normal thing for AS or is it her being a little brat?
Nana Caroline

[woodsie]

Nana,
My son is almost nine, and he has similar problems with friends and sisters. His sisters are a bit older, so they are able to respond with more patience than a younger sibilng could. He wants to be part of the group at school, but the kids are, for the most part, afraid of him, when he will fly off the handle with no apparent warning. He wants games to be played his way or no way...a typical prospective for ASD kids; they see the world a certain way and can't understand why no one else sees it that way too.
As for suggestions, the only thing I can see working is social stories, as long as they are used regularly and not used in the heat of an arguement. Short stories that show,sometimes in pictures, how a person should act in a certain circumstance. There is a particular way to construct these; CArol Grey has a couple good books about social stories and how to write them. BEn's school sends some home for us to use at times. If your daughter is in school with a good special needs program, they may have suggestions.
OF course, at the time that the struggle is going on with the sisters, the only thing you can safely do is separate them until she calms down in a quiet place. Then at a more receptive time, read with her one of these stories of how kids can play together and share.
Hope this helps.:)
Woodsie

[Nana]

:confused: Thanks for your reply. She is in a main stream 5th grade. She is a wonderful kid. If you don't watch her and pay attention to her you would believe everything that comes out of her mouth. I am very angry with her now and I do not trust her. She told the social worker at school the other day that I hit, punch and slap her every day. She did her job and called social services on me to report it. When the social worker called me to let me know what she was told and what she did I was sort of numb. When Adrienne came in from out side I asked her if she knew why I got that phone call and she said yes, I told her that sometimes you hit me in the head. I asked when I did that and she said last week you did, again I said when and she said remember when you was coming in my room with the laundry basket and hit me with it. I said yes I remember that but did I hit you and she said yes with the basket. We talked about why she got hit in the head with it and it was because she decided to stand up under it. I am so scared of her now that I have not been in the same room with her alone all weekend. She tells stories all the time the part she wants you to hear and leaves out all the details. I had to tell the older two that someone may come to school to talk to them about how things are at home. They are scared to death that they are going to be taken away just like with there mom. Would I be wrong to feel like I want them to take her away. I will not take the chance of loosing the girls because of someone not telling things they way they are.
Thanks
Nana Caroline