Dealing with autism and the problems it causes.

[SadMan]

I'm having trouble finding a job due to my not having a hsd, autism, and anxiety. In case you're wondering why I drop out it's because I just couldn't handle it. I guess I'm weak. I couldn't handle the stares, the laughs, and the insults. I'm working hard to get my G.E.D but it's hard because I have insomnia and a learning disability. I still live at home with my mom and it's pathetic. Sometimes I wonder where I will be 5 years from now and I see myself a homeless man out on the streets begging for change on street conors and eating food out of trash cans. My mother is the only person keeping me from that fate. But she can barley feed me and my 3 brothers. She smokes a lot and is getting sick and I don't think she'll be around much longer. I can't even go outside because I'm too afraid. I don't have any friends or a girlfriend and I'm still a virgin. I feel like a prisoner in my own house. Why is this happening to me? Is this hell? Did I do something so wrong in a past life and this is my punishment? I just don't know what to do. I guess the most important thing right now is getting a job first then working on my other issues but, the only job that I would qualify for is working at a fast food restaurant. But, that's out of the question because I'm unable to interact with people or be around a lot of people. I think the job interview will be pure ungodly wicked torture. Maybe someone here can help me out with some of my problems. I just wish I could look and act normal like everybody else and not have everyone thinking I'm retarded. Do losers like me even have a chance of meeting a nice girl? My loneliness is kiling me. If I don't get help I think I may..... well, I just hope god can forgive for what I may do.

[Deester]

Sadman,

Did you mention any of these to your doctor? I have dealt with depression for years. Moreso recently. Sometimes I didn't think I would come back to the world I remember. It's hard to focus on the positive.

I know I didn't want to 'feel' that way but I did. I knew I wasn't 'happy' but didn't know how to change it.

I've worked with a therapist and it's helped alot. Sounds like your a teenager and just want to be loved and appreciated for who you are. We all deal with that some point of our lives. Your home situation seems like it's making it more important to have these feelings justified.

Life certainly doesn't get any easier as an adult. Life is about practicing how to deal with stress and the things that 'stress us' in life. Coming here was a good step. You need to talk to people and that's why most of us come here.

I have a 6 year old daughter and I don't want her feeling like she's sticking out.....like you must feel. It's important to be accepted at this time in your life.

Maybe there might be a support group in your area to help young adults like yourself deal with the current issues of growing up?

What area are you from? Maybe someone here knows of a place that can offer you some friendships and support.

I'm here if you want to talk.

Denise

[mlwear]

Hang in there! If life really seems like it is too much and you can't deal with it anymore, go to the hospital or call 911. This is most important. Is there anyone you can talk to? Your mom?
Are you in the US? Are you older than 18 (I'm guessing yes by your anxiety with living with your mother). Do you think you would qualify for SSI (disability)? I can research the particulars for getting you a starting point if you need. But, I think your first step is simply going to www.ssa.gov There are plenty of links to follow or call your nearest social security office. Are you older than 21? If not, you can go back to public educaiton. Even if you quit, you can go back. Persons with IEP's/disabilities can attend through the year of their 21st birthday.
Look in your phone book's government pages (or do an Internet search) and see if your county offers community services. I'm pretty sure they do --most do. A social worker can tell you of programs you are eligible for. Explain how desperately depressed you are and you would like to talk with a social worker as soon as possible. There are many possiblities. Don't give up. There is hope and there is help.
Even going to a regular doctor could be a good thing. He/she can give you some medication so you can at least sleep and get your body back in a proper cycle. Sleep deprivation makes things worse. Be sure you are eating well, too.
I don't think the most important thing right now is getting a job then working on your issues. I think you must first get help. The stress of a new job will likely make everything worse.

I am sorry that you feel such pain. I have an 8 year old son with autism. I am glad you shared your feelings as it gives me insight -- I know what he may be experiencing some day (most of it I expected).
You aren't in hell. You are facing a very hard time and need someone to help you. Don't be afraid to ask. You deserve help.

Please post again and let us know how you are.