Safety legalities of school.....need help please!

[mommyT]

Hi Everyone,
My son as you all know has been eloping frequently at school. I met with the IEP team on Monday to discuss this as I thought their "plan" was just rediculous and insane :(
Here's their plan:
When Bailey runs away(7 yr old) we do not chase after him, but instead we start a timer. After we have found him-usually 10-15 min have passed:( He then will be required to make up this time at recess or stay after school!!!!
Is this infuriating or what-I told them thsi at the meeting-they stood theri ground even after I had threatened to go to the super or higher. A lady from the district was there and said that that threat didnt scare her-I told her I would hold each and anyone involved personally responsible if Bailey should became lost or hurt. I then excused myself fom the meeting as I was Sooooooooooo upset and frustrated. I told them I wanted a para assigned to Bailey immediately-which she said woudl just make matters worse:(
I called the Utah Parent Center and they thought this BIP was rediculous! Not to mention unsafe in EVERY regard......
After I came back to the meeting they had agreed to try a para out for 2 weeks and see what effect it has. :)But wont be keeping if his elopement gets worse etc.
It just infuriates me-do they have this right to be so unsafe-aren't there regulations somewhere that I can hold them to in regards to the safety of my son???? I need something in writing as this district lady thinks she knows it all.....Any advice or sugestions on this would be sooo greatly appreciated-what you all have done etc if your child eloped?
I mean he actually made it outside the school doors the other day!!!! I asked him abt it when he got home and he said he was coming home!!!! We live way out in the country-I hate to even think of him trying....It scares me half to death-yet I cant find anything-anything as far as regs to defend the safety of my child with!!!I'd rather have him home, at least then I'd know he was safe!!!!!
Love you all,
Tammy

[Lisa S]

Obviously, their plan is just crazy and unworkable. It must have been so difficult for you to keep your composure when they were suggesting such nonsense to you. My husband and I would have gone ballistic if they ever suggested such a crazy plan for our daughter.

Have you talked to Bailey to try to figure out why he is running off? They seem to be working from the assumption it is for attention, which is why they have the totally insane plan of just ignoring it. Maybe you could ask for some autism expert to come in and do a functional behavior analysis of the behavior to figure out what purpose it is serving for Bailey. I would guess Bailey perhaps is becoming overwhelmed and needs a quiet place or two to go for breaks without having to run away to get them and also a few safe places to choose from to run to if he does become overwhelmed, assuming he is able to think at all while he is running away.

His running away kind of worries me, not only for the obvious safety concerns but also because it is what Catherine did when her school situation was so horrible for her. In her case, the time she was planning to run home and actually got out the front doors of the school, the special education teacher was physically abusing her by putting soap in her mouth.

I see you are in Utah. We live in Colorado, but I'll see what I can find for Utah.

Lisa

[Lisa S]

Hi Tammy,

Here is a PDF file about special education law in Utah:


http://www.usu.edu/teachall/text/rules/newgrules.pdf#search='utah%20special%20education%2 0law' (http://www.usu.edu/teachall/text/rules/newgrules.pdf#search='utah%20special%20education%2 0law')

You could ask for an independent educational evaluation at LEA's expense. It is covered on Pages 67 and 68 of the document.

You probably will want to look at Discipline Procedures on Pages 90 through 95 as well.

Hope this helps,
Lisa

[mommyT]

Thanks Lisa-Ill give that file a good look-thanks for digging it up for me :)
Yes, They think it is for attention as he runs away laughing or giggling???? So maybee it is for attention after he decides to run away-but this is a new thing and its always when he is going into another transition room-by himself, or walking down the halls-both of these things I KNOW upset him as he doesnt like the attention he gets when the kids look at him when he comes in to a room etc. He frequently comes into classes after they have started already because of his speech etc. The computer teacher was there at the meeting too and told me that he NEVER has a problem if he comes in WITH the class???
As far as the hallway-well I just dont understand this? any ideas why he is running away here?
But WHY is he avoiding these classrooms in the first place-most kids dont do this-something has to be up. It could be a bunch of things though-testing going on, schedules getting messed up because of the end of the year-I imagine its all VERY frustrating for him, even though hes got his schedule board. IM just holding my breath-"only two more weeks tammy" LOLOLOL
Anyway-thanks for the links :) You have been VERY helpful {{hugs}}
Love ya,
Tammy

[StrictNon-Confo]

There's a couple possible things:

1. Not everyone laughs out of humor or at a private joke for all types of laughing: sometimes a laugh is due to nervousness. That laugh out of nervousness may manifest itself in the same way, or a slightly different way, than one of that for a joke or out of humor.

2. He might very likely be running away for completely the opposite of the reason they suspect: that is, he's running away in hopes of seeking NO attention, that causes him nervousness or overload. By the fact that they're bringing him into class at a separate time from everyone else works against blending in, and very much is overwhelming in its own way for anyone self-aware, which I'm sure he is. For some reason, many people have this mistaken impression that those on the spectrum don't have feelings, and don't perceive things that would cause them embarrassment, or that of others, for that matter: that's a dangerous generalization and misconception. I'm 100% certain that he has deciphered how much he sticks out to everyone else as being different, and that it isn't in a way that's typically considered desireable. So, the irony is that the way people are trying to make him "fit in" and blend in as quietly as possible is by forcing him to make a grand entrance every time, which bewilders my mind, personally, for how that's supposed to work. As far as I see it, having him arrive considerably after everyone else is has almost no practical difference to putting him up on a pedestal in front of the class in terms of how it's likely to make him feel about himself. In theory, it might have reduced the chance of physical sensory overload, only to in practice replace it with emotional overload, which is just a sense that can be triggered internally as well as externally: now that he's recognized that he has a different arrangement from everyone else, and that doesn't serve his needs in terms of not being singled out, that's causing a massive amount of anxiety.

Who is he avoiding being seen by with this? That's the question: is it a particular person, is it all the people in the class, one or more bullies he doesn't want to make aware of his presence, what? I'm firmly of the belief that what's causing him so much grief is that he understands far more than people are giving him credit for, but there's not much of anything he can do to change it, and he's hating life right now, and likely will hate it for a long time to come.

This is perhaps one of those cases that (for him) ignorance would be bliss:mad:

[mommyT]

Thanks Strictnon,
WOW! You have a rteal way of opening my eyes-thank you. I was reading your post and it was as if Bailey was talking to me through you-it makes COMPLETE sense now what you are saying-thank you for these thoughts.
We have mande alot of changes in his routine and accomidations to his school wrok and classroom time etc. :( So I do imagine thsi whoel thing has been really overwhelming fro him. And I do know that he doesnt like all this attention with his own special things .......:( I totally see where he is coming from-I could only take so much so I just imagine he too has his breaking points when he just can no longer take it, and what complicates things more is that he doesnt know how to express his feelings to anyone yet. So he does the only thing that would aleve these feelings from inside-RUN! I totally see where he is coming from now.
This district spec ed lady actually was questioning his diagnosis!!! "Well I havent seen very many Autistic children like him" >>>>> WEll Excuse bailey for not lining up to YOUR standards!!!! OH I was sooo livid!!!!Can you believe this-I guess she thinks she is a doctor now-as I did go OUTSIDE of the school for his evals!!!!I went to a Childrens Hospital of all places-one that I thought they would have respected.
The school has been absolutely wonderful until she came into the picture and now everything is a nightmare!!!She isnt an Autism specialist or anything, yet she questions and thinks that she knows everything there is to know abt anything-kwim?
LOLOLOL-okay now that I have gotten myself all worked up agn-LOLOL-
sorry. What do you do when you run into someone like this who is up agnst you and your child?
Thansk for your suggestions and commments-they mean so much!!!!
Love ya,
Tammy

[mommyT]

just an update>
I get a call from school and guess what .........I am to pick up bailey at 4 oclock. He ran away today fro abt 46 min they said-It happend at an assembly and he just got up and ran off :( ??????He was on top of desks etc-and then ran off and hid. But he has to apparently make up this time after school. This is a 7 yr old-sheesh...........Great plan school-looks like you have it all figure out here!...sigh.....What exactly is the aide doing when he runs off-shouldnt she be BY him?????to PREVENT this behavior-if sh ecant then it is up to them to find a para who can-right? Isnt that IDEA reg-having aides qualified to help your child?I KNEW thsi wasnt going to work adn I told them thsi at the IEP meeting-I guess they will just hav eto learn themselves.....
O well.....I just have no clue here what to do.........They afetr thsi 46 min had to go get him-obviously!!!! I just have no idea how to stop this-the school seams unableo assume ANY sort of responsibility fr his behavior here???
Have any of yoru kids run off like this-what did you do?
Thanks guys just needing to vent here-sorry......
Love ya,
Tammy

[StrictNon-Confo]

I have personally run away (or slinked, as the case may be) from school assemblies where I was able to do so, at a much older age. Not due to wanting to hang out with others or as an act of rebellion, but because assemblies were painful for me to experience, as they were very loud, with lots of whistling/shouting/overly loud PA system, etc. and microphone feedback: they were a huge torture chamber for me. The last assembly of high school was one that I (fortunately, I suppose :P ) was unable to escape from, as my Mom was there to watch me be awarded an Exemplary Attendance award.... ah, that would have been the finest irony had I not been present to receive that!

If your son has a hard time going into the classroom with all the other kids because of sensory overload, why on earth would it seem remotely sane to expect him to tolerate a typical assembly that usually includes the whole school making all sorts of noise, with lights, etc. to drive him batty?

As far as I'm concerned, he's the only sane one, by trying to escape an experience that causes him pain, and potentially hearing loss (the pep assemblies were the worst, and yes, I do believe OSHA would have had something to say about them).