Help my son joined soccer and has mixed feelings!

[Freakie]

Hi,
i am new to this site, :santa: and im having a hard time trying to decide to either pull my son from soccer or just let him keep trying..:eek: he played his first soccer game today and when he got pulled out for subbing, he came to me and said he is scared and wanted to quit..:huh: well he then did great the 2nd quarter of the game like he snapped out of it....:sad: i dont want to push him to keep playing if its going to overload him..he sort of hovers around the outside of the circle when they are playing to avoid all the harsh contact, yet he sometimes has moments of kicking the ball too..he loves practice but "doesnt get" the full aspect of the game itsself...he goes into to "robot mode"..the coach tells him what to do and he does it..i know he wont be like the "normal" kids when playing, and im so okay with that..i just dont want to have him regretting it. He wanted to sign up..and i thought we can give it a try...yet him and i both never knew about the agressiveness that comes with the sport. :( I also dont want him thinking he can quit everything he doesnt like at first....
I am torn..i hope someone could give me some advice!
Thanks!

[Freakie]

I forgot my son is 9 years old and is in the 3rd grade.:) :) :)

[Lisa S]

That is a hard decision to make.

I think I would encourage him to try it a little longer, maybe until the end of the season, if possible, if he were mine, because he has not yet played enough to give it a fair chance to see whether or not he will like it. If he continues to want to quit, then I would let him.

Welcome, by the way.

[StrictNon-Confo]

I would suggest let him play until the end of the season, and ask him if he wants to do it again next year. If he doesn't, at least he won't look like a big loser to all the other kids purely for quitting: if he sucks at playing soccer by that time, too, everyone will be happy that he doesn't rejoin, and everyone wins. If he quits now, there's always the probability that it will come back to haunt him for at least as long as anyone that knew him somehow during the time he played soccer and quit. For one thing, he may very well be labeled "Mama's boy" and be considered a complete wimp. Also, I can't see it doing him any good in terms of learning to stick to doing things long-term, either, as mentioned by Lisa. If you give him an easy out now, I bet he'll learn from that, that he can say "No!" and get out of a lot of things in life, even where that's not best.

As to not realizing it was so rough, well, there are other sports at least as rough, but shin guards exist in soccer leagues for a good reason :P

I have no clue how fast he is, or his endurance, but you could always get him into endurance running. At his age, they probably don't have cross country running available, but regardless of where you are, there's likely to be 5K races open to the general public (that's about the shortest for all but the rugrats) and unless he's horribly out of shape, running 5K (3.11 miles) should be no problem, if he paces himself. Also, the longer the distance, the more patience it requires, and you can usually fade into a larger crowd and not stand out (unless, of course, you're fast enough to place!).

[Freakie]

Ok....thanks guys..its just hard to see him struggle....sometimes he goes into his own world and i start to worry if he is getting over loaded..but then he has time where he is engaged.

[Lisa S]

I know it is hard to watch our kids struggle.

My daughter had her first Girl Scout "tent camp-out" this weekend. Well, last weekend we practiced tent camping out in our own back yard to get her ready to do it and it actually went pretty well. I went along to help chaperone. She did push one little girl into a tent which broke a pole and I had to hold her until she calmed down and we had to fix the pole of course, but she behaved very well otherwise and went to sleep well and slept all night, unlike most of the other little girls, who stayed awake most of the night, much to the dismay of the Girl Scout leaders, who got very little sleep. I slept in the tent with my daughter and I slept pretty well, compared to the leaders. My back is a little sore, but that's not too bad, considering.

I was nervous about letting her join the Girl Scouts and do these activities with them, but for the most part it is going pretty well. I keep hoping that it continues to go pretty well.

[pimmy]

My daughter age 9, in 3rd grade as well, is on the rec. soccer team, it's not as competative as other teams are. She too, is afraid of the kids, she will back off, not wanting to get hurt. Just this past saturday, she told the coach that she didn't want to play, at the end of the game she wanted to go in to play. She is also telling me to cheer for her, just like I did for her brothers (NT) when they were little, she has watched the videos of them both playing, but at times she then tells me not to yell at her, so I have to watch out for the "tone" of my voice, since she thinks that I am yelling at her. I have told her that we at least have to go to cheer her team mates on, this way she is there with them, even though she is not in the mood to play. And I have to say, the coach is wonderful not only with her, but all of the kids. One also thing, she plays very tough when her brothers practice with her, since she knows that they both will not hurt her....Jodi and Sarah

[Autismskat]

Hello,

It seems like kids go through the lessons of life when playing sports. My son
Jacob just finished his basketball session, he played center since he's so tall.
He's going to turn 13 the 28th of October. The whole team had their struggles
to work out and they did great. Now Jacob is starting his second season of
marching band, this will be his third year playing the alto saxophone. So we
understand the emotions of "extra curricular activities", but its great for
the kids to try new things and for them to see what they are made of,
especially to be a team player. Take care :)

[Freakie]

Im so glad i found this website...i thought i was alone in all this..Thanks for all the insight on things concerning soccer.
We had a talk with the school Psychologist he knows Michael really well...we decide to talk to Michael about it....saying maybe soccer isnt his "thing"..and we should look for other options when it comes to sports...something more predictable..which i know sports is very unpredictable...or maybe a hobby for him...he said he just wants to cheer for his team..hehe...so he is going to step back from soccer this week. He was in his own little world during practice and came home telling me that the kids "yelled" at him to pay attention...he is very sensitive to others...so this bothered him... So yeah...we are done with soccer for now..maybe later when he realizes how much work is involved mentally and physically.~ :-(

[Freakie]

;) :p ;) ~ :-( ;) ~ :-( ;) :p Big hugs to you guys!:santa: O :-)

[mlwear]

I have found team sports to be difficult for both my boys. My oldest has Asperger-like qualities and a list of dx's from atypical mood disorder to ADHD. My youngest has classic autism, moderate to high functioning.

It was suggested to us and we have found it to be true that the individual sports are a better match. Both my boys (and my husband) take Tae Kwon Do. All three also enjoy kayaking. My oldest son is quite good at archery. All the guys like to hit a bucket of balls at the driving range.

I like Strict's idea of endurance running.

Not a sport, but a team activity that my oldest son likes is the chess team.